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  • Bob Bjarke

The New Normal York Times



I trained an AI model on 16,000 headlines published on NYTimes.com in 2020 and asked the model to make me some new ones. What came back was a mix of what you might expect from the New York Times in a post-2020 world and what you might not.

Just like a real newspaper, I’ve broken out these headlines into sections. I used this dataset and this GPT-2 notebook to generate the headlines. These are completely un-edited, aside from a handful of apostrophes added to correct grammar.

Politics:
  • Which President Is Next?

  • Trump Adds to the Panic Hole of the Obama Situationism

  • Trump Mocks Coronavirus Fears: “You Nah”

  • Iran’s President Vigorously Regards Dr. Fauci

  • You Cant Fake Gold, Biden Says

  • “In Europe, More Work and Loopholes to Jump on to Airplanes”

  • Jazz and a Walk on the Battlefield: Investigating Iranian Nuclear Program

  • California Governor Orders All Highway Traffic to Be Flowed Over

  • Dick Cheney and the Foundations of American Power

  • When All the Pieces Fall Into Place for Mitt Romney

  • 10 Reasons You Should Give Trump a Break

Science:
  • “We Did the Exact Right Thing, Says Mary Poppins’ Therapist”

  • Comparing Yourself to the Great Comet of Nazca

  • Mother Sea Turtles Are Taking Flight

  • Does Anyone Have a Clue About How to Fight the Coronavirus?

  • The 9 Things You Need to Call a Pandemic Ambient

  • A Heat Wave Drives Winter Into New England

  • The Science Behind Your Child’s Perfect Face

  • It Did Not Go So Heated: The Inside Story of a Case Study in Physics

  • Rivers Merge in NJ for a Day. No One Is Ignoring Them.

  • This Is Wherever the Sick Get Shredded

  • How the Healing Time Beginned

Food:
  • Our Food Page: Meat Is My Paradise

  • How to Make One-Pot Pasta With Practically Any Pasta

  • How to Make a Cotton Candy Lantern

  • How Do I Make Cornmeal Casserole? You’ve Never Heard of It

  • You Need a Little Tuna

  • “The Rise of Local News, and the Dish That Keeps It Going”

  • Cocoon Cocktails

  • Virus Cure: You Lose the Boozy Cookbook

  • The Most Comforting Dish to Eat Is a Sushi Hut

  • Stay-at-Home Restaurants? No Problem

Culture:
  • Democrats and Teens: A Playlist’s Journey

  • Can You Really Make Friends With People You Don’t Know?

  • The Women Who Love Their Children

  • “How Michelle Obama’s Motto Is Transformed, Recalls Justin Bieber”

  • These Dogs Is for Real

  • What Really Happened in 1987?

  • Strange Times

  • New York City’s Taxi Industry Is Biking Again. Thats a Good Thing.

  • How to Actually Talk to a Freeloader

  • The Most Comforting Thing About Dancers Is the Noise. The People Who Do Them Feel Mostly Right.

  • Our Best Halloween Trick

  • “For TikTok’s Forgotten Hero, an American Hero”

  • America’s Remorseless War On Life

  • Maybe the 50 Best Christmas Songs in 1,000 Days Are All Just Riffs

  • When the Odds Are You Go Live and Change the World

  • The Reality TV Hosts Turn Out to Be Epic Failures

  • The 50 Best TV Shows for Working-Class America

  • People Are Giving Away Cash Freely in Alberta

Style:
  • The Victoria’s Secret to Long-Haired Business Women

  • “Is It Hats? Pendants? …”

  • My Adult Daughter Shouldn’t Be Taught Bad Fashion. What Happened?

  • The Most Popular Reason for a Gold Mine Owner to Stop Making Gold: He’s Too Young to Make It

  • Spotting 94 Carat Gold Dogs on a 1,000 kilometer Trip

  • “Yes, People Are Paying for This.”

Opinion:
  • How Many People Do I Have? You Probably Don’t Want to Know

  • First You Have to Be a Millionaire to Get a Second Birthday

  • The Compassionate Mr. Good Will Wins

  • Screw This Virus! Sabotage in 10 Days Is Pauseful Then Capture Is Made

  • Parents Got a Good Night. The Hospital Got a Bailout.

  • The Public Opinion Polls We Need to Permanently Decide About Apple and Google

  • The Sickest and Greatest Need in 2020: Clean Air and a Shot at the Top

  • Whatever Comes Next

  • Google Searches Are Back. Do They Matter Much?

  • How to Actually Spend Less Money

  • You Are Now Your Last Stand